wish,
dream or fantasy with VINCENT GALLO, ladies only
Have you ever watched a movie and fallen in love with one of the actors?
The way they looked or a character they played? Afterwards you thought
of them over and over. Daydreaming, imagining things, sexy things. When
I was very young I was madly in love with Tuesday Weld and Charlotte
Rampling. On my 14th birthday I went to see the film
Rolling Thunder
and had my biggest crush of all on the actress Linda Haynes. I wished
and wished and wished everyday that I could meet all these girls. I
thought of a lot of sexy things with Susan Blakely after seeing her
in
Lords of Flatbush. In my mind I could do with her anything
I wanted to do. So believe me, I know and understand what it's like
to wish and dream about spending time with a movie star. Doing things
that couples do. Couples in love. At least couples where the guy is
hot and knows how to handle a chick.
I, Vincent Gallo, star of such classics as
Buffalo 66 and
The
Brown Bunny have decided to make myself available to all women.
All women who can afford me, that is. For the modest fee of $50,000
plus expenses, I can fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally
born female. The fee covers one evening with Vincent Gallo. For those
who wish to enjoy my company for a weekend, the fee is increased to
a mere $100,000. Heavy set, older, red heads and even black chicks can
have me if they can pay the bill. No real female will be refused. However,
I highly frown upon any male having even the slightest momentary thought
or wish that they could ever become my client. No way Jose. However,
female couples of the lesbian persuasion can enjoy a Vincent Gallo evening
together for $100,000. $200,000 buys the lesbos a weekend. A weekend
that will have them second-guessing.
I am willing to travel worldwide to accommodate clients. However, travel
days are billed at $50,000 per plus all premium flight fees. Scanning
for STD's is required as is bathing and grooming prior to our encounter.
Detailed photos of potential clients also required prior. An extra fee
for security to protect me is charged on top of the fantasy fee. Security
fees will vary depending on the details of an encounter and how much
security I will need.
Potential clients are advised to screen the controversial scene from
The Brown Bunny to be sure for themselves that they can fully
accommodate all of me. Clients who have doubt may want to test themselves
with an unusually thick and large prosthetic prior to meeting me. You
may be surprised just how much you can handle and how good it feels.
This
service is available, but is only payable by cash, checks, and/or bank
wire. No credit card payments accepted for this item.
Price includes all costs related to one attempt at an in-vitro
fertilization. (A $50,000 value) If the first attempt at in vitro
fertilization is unsuccessful, purchaser of sperm must pay all medical
costs related to additional attempts. Mr. Gallo will supply sperm for
as many attempts as it takes to complete a successful fertilization and
successful delivery. Sperm is 100% guaranteed to be donated by Mr.
Gallo who is drug, alcohol and disease free. If the purchaser of the
sperm chooses the option of natural insemination, there is an
additional charge of $500,000. However, if after being presented
detailed photographs of the purchaser, Mr. Gallo may be willing to
waive the natural insemination fee and charge only for the sperm
itself. Those of you who have found this merchandise page are very well
aware of Mr. Gallo's multiple talents, but to add further insight into
the value of Mr. Gallo's sperm, aside from being multi talented in all
creative fields, he was also multi talented as an athlete, winning
several awards for performing in the games of baseball, football and
hockey and making it to the professional level of grand prix motorcycle
racing. Mr. Gallo is 5'11" and has blue eyes. There are no known
genetic deformities in his ancestry (no cripples) and no history of
congenital diseases. If you have seen The Brown Bunny, you know the
potential size of the genitals if it's a boy. (8 inches if he's like
his father.) I don't know exactly how a well hung father can enhance
the physical makeup of a female baby, but it can't hurt. Mr. Gallo also
presently maintains a distinctively full head of hair and at the age of
43 has surprisingly few gray hairs. Though his features are sharp and
extreme, they would probably blend well with a softer, more subtly
featured female. Mr. Gallo maintains the right to refuse sale of his
sperm to those of extremely dark complexions. Though a fan of Franco
Harris, Derek Jeter, Lenny Kravitz and Lena Horne, Mr. Gallo does not
want to be part of that type of integration. In fact, for the next 30
days, he is offering a $50,000 discount to any potential female
purchaser who can prove she has naturally blonde hair and blue eyes.
Anyone who can prove a direct family link to any of the German soldiers
of the mid-century will also receive this discount. Under the laws of
the Jewish faith, a Jewish mother would qualify a baby to be deemed a
member of the Jewish religion. This would be added incentive for Mr.
Gallo to sell his sperm to a Jew mother, his reasoning being with the
slim chance that his child moved into the profession of motion picture
acting or became a musical performer, this connection to the Jewish
faith would guarantee his offspring a better chance at good reviews and
maybe even a prize at the Sundance Film Festival or an Oscar. To be
clear, the purchase of Mr. Gallo's sperm does not include the use of
the name Gallo. The purchaser must find another surname for the child.
This
service is available, but is only payable by cash, checks, and/or bank
wire. No credit card payments accepted for this item.